Habits and self improvement
It is fascinating how most of the changes in our lives come from the same source: our habits.
I studied the classics of Napoleon Hill, to Duhigg's best seller, to modern James Clear, and the more I applied the more I realized that — In the long run, the quality of our lives is based on the quality of our habits.
Habits are the compound interest of self improvement, and our achievements are the results of those daily consistent habits.
Changes that feel small at first will compound into amazing results — if we are willing to stick to them long enough.
"Success is a few simple disciplines, practiced every day; while failure is simply a few errors in judgment, repeated every day.", Jim Rohn
It is only when looking back 1, 5, 10 years, that the value of good habits and the cost of bad ones becomes extremely apparent. We tend to dismiss small changes as they don't seem to matter at the moment.
If we save little money today we are still not millionaires. If we go to the gym 3 times this week we are still not fit. If we study Mandarin every night for an entire month we still haven't learned the language.
The last stage of the habit
To understand the power of habits Napoleon Hill talks about a final stage of habits — called rhythm. Rhythm is a habit that has become part of our identity. He explains how our environment and thoughts influence our habits.
Rhythm is so strong that we can even see it in nature. Nature has habits? Yes it does. It has yearly seasons, flowers blossom, trees bears fruits, animals hibernate. These rhythms are so strong that they are almost impossible to be broken.
Every environment has its own rhythm. When we live in our parents house we tend to follow the house's schedule. By belonging to a family we tend to adopt the family's traditions. The only way to beat the rhythm of the environment, is to either get away from it, or to set a new pattern before it dominates us.
This explains why both success and failure are the results of our habits. Our thoughts — good or bad — drive actions, and actions become habits. Our habits — good or bad — will then lead to good or bad results. It is a chain reaction.
Think growth, and you will most likely get growth. Not because positive thinking is magical, but because thoughts drive habits and habits drive results.
How habits are formed
There are 4 different steps in the habit formation loop:
- Step 1: The cue. What triggers the desire to want the reward.
- Step 2: The craving. The desire to have the reward.
- Step 3: Response. Action to obtain the reward.
- Step 4: Reward. Consuming the reward that was triggered by the cue.
You are in the supermarket, you don't want to eat a chocolate, but you desire it. You buy the chocolate, and you eat. In time, you won't even need to see the chocolate. Just entering the sweets section will become the cue that triggers that desire.
This is why over time the cues become so automatic that they are invisible. For this reason the process of behavior change begins with awareness. If a habit remains mindless you can't expect to improve on it.
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate", Carl Jung.
Redesign your own environment to make the cues of your preferred habits obvious and attractive, while making the cues for your undesired habits invisible and unattractive.
All studies show that disciplined people are no different than undisciplined people. They just spend less time in temptation. They make their environment work in their favor and not against them.
How to change our habits
Changing habits can become very difficult because of two main reasons. We often try to change the wrong thing or change it the wrong way.
Habits change can occur from 3 levels:
- Level 1 - Change the outcome.
- Level 2 - Change the process.
- Level 3 - Can change our identity.
By changing the outcome we are focusing on changing our goals. By changing the process we are tackling process to build habits. When we focus on changing our identity, we are changing our beliefs.
Outcome is what we get. Process is what we do. Identity is what we believe. We do it backwards. We change our goals to change our habits, instead of changing our habits to change who we want to be.
Improvements are only temporary until they become part of who we are. The goal should be to become something, not just change it. Habits are how we embody our identity. When we make our bed daily, we embody the identity of an organized person. When we workout daily we embody the identity of an athletic person.
The all or nothing mentality
Personally, I think the reason we've such a hard time to build long lasting habits is by far this one — The all or nothing mentality.
I faced this when I tried to build a daily meditation habit. Was I always available? No. Was I always in the mood? Definitely not. For months I was on and off, because I would think — I don't have 10min today, so there is no point in doing it. This was a huge mistake.
What was the solution? Changing the all or nothing mentality to the all or anything mentality. If I don't feel like doing it for 10 min, I will do it for 3min. This allow me to create consistency. I at least made sure to show up — I've been consistent now for almost 6 months.
Don't treat habits as all or nothing. Couldn't workout 45 min? Do 30 min, 10 min, it doesn't matter. This is why bad workouts are usually the most important ones. Sluggish days and bad workouts maintain the compound gains.
How to improve our habits! Practice time!
Triggers: When you want to improve a habit, track it. Track what triggers the habit. Awareness is the first step.
Environment: If you don't want to eat chocolate, don't keep it in your house. If you want to run, keep you shoes near the door. If you want to wake up early, leave your phone in another room. Your environment is crucial.
Habit tracker: I was very skeptical about this one, but it helped a lot! You don't have to use it forever, but it helps to build up habits. It gives you a sense of accomplishment, accountability, and to avoid skipping things. For my habit tracker I use an app called Notion.so. You can duplicate my habit tracker in this link.
Keep showing up!
If I had to sum up this article in one phrase it would be — Keep showing up, keep compounding.
The only way to become excellent is to be find enjoyment in discipline. It's the ability to keep going. Professionals stick to their schedule. Amateurs blame life for getting in the way. Be accountable.
Want to run? Put in your shoes. Want to read? Pick up the book, read 1 page. Want to write? Write 1 line. Start with 1. The point is not to do one thing, it is to master the habit of showing up. Standardize before you can optimize.
Focus on the identity level. We create new habits to change our identity, and once those habits are part of who they are sustainable and easy to maintain.
Let go on the all or nothing mentality. It's not about what happens in the workout, it's about being the person who does not miss workouts.
To have a radical change all we need is tiny smart choices, consistency and time. Choices are everything. Every choice, big or small has a compounding effect in the making of our lives.
You make your choices. And your choices make you. Keep showing up!
