Life's rule #1
We all have our life rules, and if I made a list of my own life rules, being accountable — or at least trying to — would be the at the top of the list. Not saying it is easy, but it can and should be cultivated.
"The day you graduate from childhood to adulthood is the day you take full responsibility for your life", Jim Rohn.
After the welcome article, I feel I must start from here. We often fail to realize that accountability is the prerequisite for self-improvement. To improve ourselves, we need to take action and if we don't make ourselves fully responsible for our own choices — there is no action.
Think about it — If I claim something is not my fault, and I say it is your fault, what can I do about it? Nothing. I have zero control over you. All that is left for me is to just sit there and suffer the consequences of the situation, as opposed to — Ok, here is what is going on, I am going to take responsibility to at least try to change it or do something about it.
This idea feels even more relevant in our current times. Lots of finger pointing, little accountability. We've never been more sensitive to other people's actions and opinions.
What is accountability
Accountability is being fully responsible for everything that happens in our lives, and not transferring any of that responsibility — to people, events, governments.
Some believe accountability is about judging or blaming ourselves, but this couldn't be further from the truth. Accountability is all about choice and action, not judgment.
If you failed at a project, you can be accountable by recognizing you did not put the necessary efforts, and take action by preparing better. If you were involved in an accident, you can be accountable by recognizing that it was not under your control, but take action on what to do to recover and avoid it from happening again.
Accountability is making sure all decisions — on things we can, or can't control — are our responsibility.
Until we get rid of the victim mentality, we will remain frustrated and angry with a world that seems against us, and we'll never truly feel in charge of our lives.
I feel this topic is important in our current COVID-19 situation. None of us could predict this storm coming, but we have to keep moving. We have no control over the pandemic, but we control how we act towards it.
Focus on personal responsibility first
I often get asked — So if everything my responsibility, there is no such thing as group responsibility? Nope, that's not what I am saying.
Remember the famous airplane instruction — put your oxygen mask on first, before assisting others — same idea. We can do a massive amounts of good to anyone around us, but to help them, we must first focus on ourselves.
"The first duty of every human being is to himself... Only, and if only one has time and energy after fulfilling himself he should then tend to his duties to others", Napoleon Hill.
We tend to forget that groups are made of people. Groups can be accountable if their members are accountable — it must come from within. Responsibility should be cultivated from the individual level to then propagate and benefit the collective level.
Now the main question is — How can we take maximum responsibility for our lives, and wouldn't it be great if that was of optimal benefit to our families and communities as well?
How individual responsibility benefits others
The clinical psychologist Jordan B. Peterson, explains that we need to start by recognizing which areas we need to improve. It could be learning a new technical skill to contribute in our jobs, it could be learning how to control our emotions to better lead people.
Once we embark on the improvement journey — if we do it properly and consistently — it is natural that given the time our skills will improve. If we improved our technical skills, we can work on more projects helping more colleagues. If we improved our leadership skills, we can lead people in a better way.
The more we improve on the personal level, the more we can actually benefit the collective level.
"If you truly want to change the world, start by cleaning your own room", Jordan B. Peterson.
If we manage to improve our lives by improving ourselves, when we reach leadership positions, we would have more competence and the moral to take more appropriate decisions.
What being accountable can do for you
As I mentioned, being accountable is not about judgment — it's about action. The problem with judgement, is that it leads to guilt, and guilt does not lead to action.
How many times have we felt guilty of something and kept revisiting the situation over and over again? The probable answer is — too many times!
Facing our problems requires consistent efforts and creates discomfort. It hurts, but there is no way around. If we want to help others, we should first become the role models we can be, and let our results speak for themselves.
When the hard time comes, what are the alternatives? We either take charge or we blame it onto others which will make things harder. Transferring the responsibility might feel comforting at start, but this feeling never lasts — and in no time — we are back right where we started.
How to be accountable
How do we practice accountability? We create awareness to it. We can start by noticing the way we use certain terms.
Every time we say — I didn't have time to do it — we change it to — I didn't want to do it. It's not pleasant, but it's the first step to create awareness.
It might not even mean that we don't want to do it. We might want it, but we are not yet willing to put the necessary efforts and pay the price to do it. It is not a priority. When we say that we had no time, we are actually lying to ourselves instead of taking responsibility. We always find time for the things we deem important.
Here are some other interesting examples — I never got the memo, I was not informed, it was always done like this, I didn't know, I didn't see it, this is not my job. It is amazing the effect that our own words create in our capability to be accountable and to act. Small words, massive effects. By creating awareness, we can recognize when we are not taking responsibility and decide how to act on it.
Accountability needs to be constantly cultivated — and I include myself in this group — it is a daily effort. Some days we are accountable, some days we are not accountable. What matters is to recognize when we failed and do better next time.
Stop blaming, start acting
COVID-19 is the ultimate example here. I've been really trying to be more accountable — cause that's all I can do right now. I've never read more books, studied more, exercised more, I even created this very own blog!
We can't change what happened, and no one knows how much longer it will last. Keep exercising, keep studying, keep improving. Being accountable is not only to do our best despite the situation, is to make sure that once this is over we will at least be better than when it started.
To establish a thriving relationship with ourselves and to truly be of help to others, we must hold ourselves responsible for all our decisions and actions. We need to work on our accountability daily. We need to take responsibility. We need to take action.
It takes time and effort. It is not a once in a lifetime transformation. It is a never ending, slow walk up the ladder, as a result of daily consistent efforts to take charge of our own lives.
Nothing will change, unless we change. Nothing will get better, unless we get better.
